Evening Relics

I don’t have any query letters to write at the moment, but I’m tempted to try and get a jump on writing summaries earlier this time.

Some new ideas we’re toying with. Had to take a break from one manuscript, get a breather, and then go back to it with fresh eyes and ideas. In the meantime, grittier things.

And I’ve learned the differences between a psychopath and a sadist. Yeah, it’s been a weird span of time.

On the bright side, fresh ideas! Never something to complain about.

Want motivation?

Find your reason to continue.

Inspiration will give you ideas. Inspiration can come from anywhere. Be it beautiful scenery, to nature, or perhaps even seeing how horrendous someone else has done that you just want to do better.

But motivation is harder. Motivation is the thing that pushes you along after the inspiration has become jaded. Motivation keeps you going when you’d rather be distracted by the next shiny, intriguing object.

You can look for as much inspiration as you want, but if you really want to get anywhere, you need motivation, and a plan for what to do when it burns out. And it will burn out at some point.

Question is, when the time comes, are you going to carry on, or give up?

Because giving up gets you nowhere.

If you want advice for what to do when standing on stage, preparing to give a speech and nerves are getting the better of you… this isn’t the place, and you’ve likely had time to prepare. Take a deep breath and get a move on before the music plays!

Ahem. Now, for the rest of us, I’m talking stress over projects and such. In particular, if you’re waiting to hear back from an editor, a grade, etc.

Writers, while one piece of advice would be to try and channel that into editing, energy, I’m going to say don’t. There is a time and place for editing, and you really should do a lot of it; it makes your work better. That said, you can also edit too much. Editing to the point you take your own voice away. I’ve done that. It sucks. Then you have to go back and edit again later.

If you’re in a place where you think your work is the scum of the earth and panicking, save the work, set it aside, and do something else. Breathe deep, and try to focus on other things. The tried and true advice is go for a walk or zone out for a while.

(Reading, I’ve found, can have different results depending on your mindset. You can relax, or you may end up thinking ‘my work isn’t as good as this/how will I manage to blahblahblah/etc’. I’d actually steer clear from books in that worst moment. Feel free to go nuts though when you aren’t in emotional shambles.)

For the rest of the time, find a hobby you like to partake in. I’ve got three in particular: playing video games, baking, and sewing.

Number one: video games.

I enjoy video games when I’m not stressed, and some games can be beautiful modes of storytelling. (See Okami and the Legend of Zelda series.) But they’re also good for escaping. Even games I’ve played dozens of times still manage to surprise me. I have to stay on my toes and focus on the tasks so I don’t keep dying. It’s a good way to simply not think about whether or not an email has been opened and what they must be thinking of your work. Find a task that let’s you tune out. A good movie may do it, or a board game. Maybe a tv show.

Number two: baking.

Oh god. Baking and I. Where to begin? When Ranetree and I sent our our first query letters, I spent a good deal of time panicking over the queries, and wanting to cry over the fact I didn’t have anything to use to make cupcakes.

I need to use my hands for things, so when I can’t, I get jittery and my nerves get worse. While I generally like the things I make, baking for me generally has nothing to do with the food at the end. It’s something I can do productively and takes my full focus. Unlike video games, it also generally turns into a war between the kitchen and myself. (I swear it eats my spatulas! Damn you unruly cabinets!)

If I could meet with editors and agents in person, get away with it without them assuming it was a bribe, and possessed the disposable income to do so, I’d likely be bringing in baked goods all the time.

A) I’ve done a lot of research into the field and anyone who can tolerate editing, dealing with whiny, entitled assholes, and negotiating deals all in the same day deserves serious respect. I don’t know if I could handle it. Anyone who can, well, kudos to you. Seriously. You don’t get into being an editor or agent because it’s easy. Hell, writers don’t even do this because it’s easy.

And B) if I’m going to be baking in the rare moments I’m not staring at a document, I really don’t need all of it where I alone can get at it, and so I might as well share. Spreading the wealth so to speak.

That said, if they think it’s a bribe and it works, I’ll take credit for it. Anything to give me an edge. (I’ll take what I can get, thanks!) 

I’ve made cupcakes, cake, muffins, cookies, banana bread, brownies, pudding, mints, etc., and have a list of things to try. I make buttercream frosting from scratch. Baking is a good way to get in the mindset of something else and then have things to show for it afterwards. 

Number three: sewing.

I am not a seamstress. I will never make a living off of my sewing. Why? I hand sew everything. It’s very calming for me. My stitches also happen to be tiny. I’ve done stitches small enough people assume it was part of the fabric to begin with. I have stabbed myself in the fingers and hand more times than I can count while sewing. (The worst time, I stitched a shirt to my finger. That was fun to fix.) 

If you like sewing, or any other craft, like baking it’s a good way to go something and have something to show for your time when all is said and done. Video games can show progress, but when family asks ‘what did you do today?’ it doesn’t generally go over as well.

What it boils down to is this: when you’re nervous to the point of hysterics, the best thing to do is step away. Find something else that engages you, mellow out, and then come back to your work.

Nervous energy can be good for writing too! It just depends on where your head is and how you channel it. Since my primary projects are all with my co-author, I can’t always jump into writing for the mainstory.

Instead, I’ll write what I call ‘snippets’. Different scenes or pieces of scenes to work out ideas or just practice. Some of my best ideas or moments of development come from doing that. 

Beyond that, the only words I can offer are these:

Good Luck.

Having a love/hate relationship with your manuscript is one of the most emotionally exhausting things possible.

I love the plot. It’s going well, I think. Doesn’t change the fact I still always second guess my own writing. “Is this good enough? Will anyone even want to read it?” never totally go away, I suppose.

This is why I try not to think too hard on the appeal at this stage. I don’t want to psyche myself out. I don’t want to throw myself under a bus in terror again.

I know I am not in a position to have any idea of what a reader, or agent, will think of a project I’ve worked on. And quite frankly, I have a hard time seeing why other people would like my characters. (Though I love my co-author’s with a passion, which leads to a weird love/hate with the manuscript. I can get in the moment and write passages I love, and then look back and go ‘this is the most horrifying piece of shit ever written’.)

It’s a weird mix. You want to be confidant in your talents, but there’s also a very serious question as to why anyone else should care about them as much as you do.

In my case, I just have to throw everything I have into my characters. If I can’t make myself emotional over them, I can’t expect a reader to do so. I throw everything I have in, and then some. In the end, I present my best.

Whether or not anyone else likes them, well, that’s up to them.